3 tips to “get out of your own way”
Most people aren’t aware that they are in their own way, perhaps you have ‘done what your parents expected’, or simply followed the career or family route that you felt was available to you? The interesting point is what has brought you to this point in your life right now? What life decisions have you made based on life flow rather than purposeful decisions? Do you recognise your anchor points, the times or points in time that changed your life and its direction? It isn’t simply your career or life choices that are affected by your undisclosed subconscious programme it is also the way you deal with your loved ones, your friends and of course the choices you make about your health. If you watched your mum work hard and not treat herself well, putting others before herself, you are quite probably going to follow the same path, unless of course, you uncover your buried programming. This blog will outline some of the hidden choices we make about our health, food and personal drive and give you the opportunity to reflect and shift your thinking.
Whether your life has been in flow or you have deliberately and purposefully organised it, there will be underlining, beneath-the surface-emotional currents or predispositions, that have affected your choices. Familial expectations will have affected your life choices. Did you become an architect, marketer, GP, lawyer, corporate high-flyer or small business success because it was expected of you? Are you aware of your ancestral and emotional line and how it has affected your choices in life? Begin your journey into your current behaviour around your life and health with unlocking your past.
As a Health Coach, I love asking the questions, the questions that nobody else in your life will ask. I have the neutrality and the curiosity to uncover your blocks. It absolutely fascinates me why you do the things you do, self-sabotaging is one extreme, but even mild stress points in your day are an interesting insight. How does that sit with you? Does the idea of understanding yourself intrigue or terrify you? If you knew that it would help you move forward would you feel more at ease? If you would love to chat and start the process, you are welcome to book some time with me, you have to come prepared to go deep. Start here with a few interesting questions
1. Unlock your past
Perhaps, like me, you came from a hardworking, not much to money to spare background and the only personal growth option you felt available to you was a university?
My ‘mam’ came from the Gorbals, the slums of Glasgow, which have since been demolished. The only way out for the inhabitants was seen as education. That was my early subliminal learning. Hard work and education are my personal route to success.
My dad’s background meant that in his youth, he played in the rubble of the London bomb sites and went to work at an early age. He never went to university and although he is extremely well read and eloquent, his life motto from the 1960s is, “Let it all hang out.”
I, therefore, inherited a tendency to speak up, ask questions and strive to know more, which offers an interesting position at times. I trust I do this with love and curiosity, you’ll have to feedback to me and let me know.
Other family messages in my life and yours are food-orientated.
For instance, my mam had three brothers and was the only daughter. It was a race for her to finish her food before her starving brothers started eating hers. She had to eat quickly and yet was always the last to be served. The subliminal message for her was that “the working man needed his food first.”As a result of my mum’s pain, I was always given the same amount of food on my plate as my dad! My mum didn’t want me to miss out the way that she did. The issue was though, I didn’t need that amount of food, but I got used to eating a large, very large helping.
Another example of a food story is gorgeous Caroline. She was also motivated to finish everything on her plate and have seconds. Her father, an American, was brought up in the American Depression before the 1950s white-bread era. He experienced a severe feeling of scarcity; meals always had seconds and most of the time, thirds. Caroline followed this tradition of helping herself to seconds and occasionally thirds simply because her dad felt it was appropriate and necessary. However, as our food becomes plentiful and more calorific, easier for the body to convert to sugar, or is already sugar then old familial stories are adding not only to your waist circumference but also your predisposition to bad health.
Your food stories combined with a modern diet are exacerbating ill health, ill mental and physical health. Caroline’s dad may well have been having seconds and thirds of a homemade meal, perhaps even a homemade apple pie, but we are having seconds and thirds of crisps, chocolate, pre-packaged meals and food that is not supporting us it is harming us.
Take a moment to consider the family stories you have.
The Irish potato famine is a distant memory from generations past, and yet the feeling of ‘going without’ remains with me and my family. I appreciate that sounds a little crazy but considering food to be a scarcity and feeling famished is still part of our family ancestral line. The Irish potato famine is used as a joke to explain my addiction (and it is an addiction) to potatoes. I adore them. My family on both my mother and father’s side came from Ireland and moved to Glasgow and London respectively. A strong Irish heritage that many others share. It may well be a crazy, distant even an almost ancient historical event from nearly 200 years ago, but that feeling of not being quite satiated stays as a memory in our bodies and thoughts.
Another vivid example and a little more current is the rationing during and after the second world war (the original ‘clean’ eating period) has also left an ancestral pattern in many people’s lives. You may be aware of your mother or grandmothers attitude of ‘waste not want not’. Or ‘the kids in Africa’ mantra. The kids in Africa wouldn’t last five minutes on our highly processed diet and yet that imagery still vividly exists in your consciousness.
“Guilt, shame and clean up your plate.”
Emotions that link with your eating habits
You have messages that follow you and are part of your daily life. You may not be aware of all these messages, but you will be aware of your behaviour – which stems from these messages.
Moving forward beings by acknowledging these patterns, and distant hurts. As a Health Coach, going back and reviewing why these messages occurred isn’t an ideology I relish instead I am interested in moving forward and away from them. Considering the feeling that you have, the emotional debris that these memories have left. A feeling of disquiet, or even hurt, at the dinner table. Those emotions are worth exploring and recognising and they can simply be let go, I’ll show you how. You don’t have to revisit painful memories to let go of them, simply recognise them, give them some space, honour and release and move forward easily.
Make the call that will bring about change – spend some time answering these questions
The next stage flows easily and is great fun, let your imagination go wild as you explore your passion. What do you really want to do in life? Mine is easy, I want to travel, I went to uni straight after school, worked at Saatchi’s straight after uni, moved in with a chap blah blah blah. I missed the boat (literally) with the train rides around Europe, the gap year in Australia, that is where my future is set. What is your passion, where do you want to go and how are you going to get there?
2. Unlock your passion
What your motivations are in life and what really drives your passion, thinking about this will help you to uncover your motivation.
My first client call with new clients is spent finding out their real passion in life. I know from experience that passion drives action and it will drive you forward in your quest for great health. It may appear that focusing on travel is not going to get me out of bed to answer emails in the morning and get on with my day job. But it does. If I know that writing blogs and caring for my clients is part of my life purpose then the mundane, everyday tasks of emails, preparing choreography
It is a bit like knowing that cleaning the house or doing the shopping is my way of looking after my kids.
Focusing on what will motivate you in the long term can allow you to get out of your own way and help you to uncover and circumvent old feelings and historical myths, for example, Linda’s example is interesting. Unblocking her health motivations had nothing to do with being skinny, she wouldn’t get up at 6am for a run to be skinny but she would get out of bed if she held her bigger passion in her mind.
Linda was driven by work. On our first call, we discovered that her driving passion was her business. She was in an exciting, developmental stage of a new, personal business, having ‘served’ in the corporate world for decades. Linda’s big vision for her business was creating a negative impact on her health. After much discussion and reflection, she realised that if her health wasn’t working for her then she wouldn’t have the clarity and stamina required to get the business up and running. Her business would fail if she didn’t have her health to keep up the momentum. As soon as Linda and I connected her health choices to the drive forward in her business, the rest was easy.
Linda’s passion for helping corporate executives to be more sustainable and create strong eco credentials in a corporate big business was her driving force. Combining that with her own health meant we had the key to unlock her desire to be healthy for herself. Eating well and forgoing endless cups of coffee with sugar bombs was easy once Linda had aligned her business ‘why’ with her personal ‘why’. Linda had to be performing at a top level to achieve her business dreams.
When you approach your health journey with an understanding that there is so much more below the surface, you realise that your everyday actions are the clues to unlocking your behaviours and, most importantly, your eating behaviours. Then finding your way forward with your personal motivational key is easy. When you accept, appreciate and understand yourself, finding your perfect healthy weight is easy to achieve.
If you would like to understand your body more, get to grips with the nutritional balance that will work for you feel free to book in your free consultation time with me.
Start by asking yourself a few interesting questions and notice your responses – dig deep and take your time click here
3. Knowing yourself
Knowing yourself is the key to weight loss and healthy success. And success has a structure that includes your vision and goals. “Above all be true to yourself and know thyself” (paraphrased Shakespeare), or as often attributed to Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself. everyone else is already taken.” Taking time to understand yourself will help you find the right course of action for you.
If you are looking for Insta-results, which are results-driven and as fast as your food, you are missing your personal link between your subconscious thoughts and your behaviour: the reason why you behave as you do, the connection between your deep thoughts and your behaviour.
It could be as simple as eating everything on your plate because of your parents’ wartime shortage or because your mum gives you more food than you need, because she missed out, as discussed previously.
You are aware that love can be inappropriately expressed through food. You know your loving and caring Aunt Flo will offer you sandwiches, cakes and biscuits simply because she is pleased to see you. How many times do you do this to yourself?
Knowing yourself is an interesting and thoughtful journey, which will offer you so much more than simply your weight loss. You are fascinating, you are intriguing, you are gorgeous.
I want you to be the gorgeous girl you have always meant to be. Headspace that is filled with negativity does not help you or your loved ones. I want you to shine and be gloriously gorgeous. I want you to look and feel and fantastic every day! If you would like to understand your body more, get to grips with the nutritional balance that will work for you feel free to book in your free consultation time with me.
You and I will discuss where you are currently and where you would love to be in 3 or 6 months time. I look forward to chatting with you, you know how I love to chat 😉
Get Gorgeous is a journey together – yours and mine.
PS. Don’t forget the gorgeous book – your insight into great health and vitality Gorgeous! how to look and feel fantastic every day. Click here to find out about your Gorgeous book
Find out what other gorgeous girls have to say…
Gorgeous! (Panoma press £14.99) is the new book by Adele that recently launched provides women with expert guidance to change their perception of food. Adele is also passionate that for sustainable weight loss to occur, the right mindset needs to be in place from the offset.
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