3 tips to “get out of your own way”
Most people aren’t aware that they are in their own way, let alone being able to decide how to get out of it. Perhaps you are completely unaware that you have ‘done what your parents expected’, or simply followed the natural route that you felt was available to you? What has brought you to this point in your life right now? What life decisions have you made based on life flow rather than purposeful decisions? Do you recognise your anchor points, the times or points in time that changed your life and its direction?
Whether your life has been in flow or you have deliberately organised it, there will be underlining, beneath-the surface-emotional currents or predispositions, that have affected your choices. Familial expectations may have affected your life choices. Did you become an architect, marketer, GP, lawyer, corporate high-flyer or small business success because it was expected of you? Are you aware of your ancestral and emotional line and how it has affected your choices in life?
Unlock your past
Perhaps, like me, you came from a poor background and the only personal growth option you felt available to you was a university. My ‘mam’ came from the Gorbals, the slums of Glasgow, which have since been demolished. The only way out was education. That was my early subliminal learning. In his youth, my dad played in the rubble of the bomb sites of London. He never went to university and although he was extremely well read and eloquent, his life motto from the 1960s was, “Let it all hang out.” I therefore inherited a tendency to speak up, which offers an interesting juxtaposition at times. Other family messages in my life and yours are food-orientated.
For instance, my mam had three brothers and was the only daughter. It was a race for her to finish her food before her starving brothers started eating hers. She had to eat quickly and yet was always the last to be served. The subliminal message for her was that “the working man needed his food first”. As a result of my mum’s pain, I was always given the same amount of food on my plate as my dad. Caroline was also motivated to finish everything on her plate and have seconds. Her father, an American, was brought up in the American Depression before the 1950s white bread era. He experienced a severe feeling of scarcity; meals always had seconds and most of the time, thirds.
The Irish potato famine is a distant memory from three generations ago, and yet the feeling of ‘going without’ remains. Considering food to be a scarcity and feeling famished is still part of an ancestral line. Rationing during and after the second world war (the original ‘clean’ eating in the UK has left an ancestral pattern in many people’s lives. We have messages that follow us and work with us now in our daily lives. You may not be aware of all these messages, but you will be aware of your behaviour – which stems from these messages.
Unlock your passion
What your motivations are in life and what really drives your passion. This thinking will help you to uncover your motivation. My first call with new clients is spent finding out their real passion in life, because that is what drives your quest for great health. Focusing on what will motivate you in the long term can allow you to get out of your own way and help you to uncover and circumvent old feelings and historical myths, for example, that food is scarce.
Linda was driven by work. On our first call, we discovered that her driving passion was her business. She was in an exciting, developmental stage of a new, personal business, having ‘served’ in the corporate world for decades. Linda’s big vision for her business was creating a negative impact on her health. After much discussion and reflection, she realised that if her health wasn’t working for her then she wouldn’t have the clarity and stamina required to get the business up and running. It would fail if she didn’t have her health to keep up the momentum. As soon as Linda and I connected her health choices to the drive forward in her business, the rest was easy.
Linda’s passion for helping corporate executives to be more sustainable and create strong eco credentials in corporate big business was her driving force. Combining that with her own health meant we had the key to unlock her desire to be healthy for herself. Eating well and forgoing endless cups of coffee with sugar bombs was easy once Linda had aligned her business ‘why’ with her personal ‘why’. Linda had to be performing at a top level to achieve her business dreams.
When you approach your health journey with an understanding that there is so much more below the surface, you realise that your everyday actions are the clues to unlocking your behaviours and, most importantly, your eating behaviours. Then finding your way forward with your personal motivational key is easy. When you accept, appreciate and understand yourself, finding your perfect healthy weight is easy to achieve.
Knowing yourself is the key to weight loss and healthy success. And success has a structure that includes your vision and goals. “Above all be true to yourself and know thyself” (paraphrased Shakespeare), or as often attributed to Oscar Wilde , “Be yourself. everyone else is already taken.” Taking time to understand yourself will help you find the right course of action for you.
If you are looking for Insta-results, which are results-driven and as fast as your food, you are missing your personal link between your subconscious thoughts and your behaviour: the reason why you behave as you do, the connection between your deep thoughts and your behaviour.
It could be as simple as eating everything on your plate because of your parents’ wartime shortage or because your mum gives you more food than you need, because she missed out, as discussed previously.
You are aware that love can be inappropriately expressed through food. You know your loving and caring Aunt Flo will offer you sandwiches, cakes and biscuits simply because she is pleased to see you. How many times do you do this to yourself?
Knowing yourself is an interesting and thoughtful journey, which will offer you so much more than simply your weight loss. You are fascinating, you are intriguing, you are gorgeous.
I want you to be the gorgeous girl you have always meant to be. Headspace that is filled with negativity does not help you or your loved ones. I want you to shine and be gloriously gorgeous. I want you to look and feel and fantastic every day! If you would like to understand your body more, get to grips with the nutritional balance that will work for you feel free to book in your free consultation time with me.
You and I will discuss where you are currently and where you would love to be in 3 or 6 months time. I look forward to chatting with you, you know how I love to chat 😉
Get Gorgeous is a journey together – yours and mine.
PS. Don’t forget the gorgeous book – your insight into great health and vitality Gorgeous! how to look and feel fantastic every day. Click here to find out about your Gorgeous book
Find out what other gorgeous girls have to say…
Gorgeous!(Panoma press £14.99) is the new book by Adele that recently launched provides women with expert guidance to change their perception of food. Adele is also passionate that for sustainable weight loss to occur, the right mindset needs to be in place from the offset.
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