Do you ever find it difficult to be honest with yourself? Perhaps you struggle to ask for what you want, or maybe you tend to hide your true feelings. It’s interesting how being dishonest with yourself can feel easier than being truthful. You might even find yourself stuck in a pattern of behaviour where you put others’ needs before your own. But when was the last time you thought about what you really need?
Just the other day, my daughter was asked what she wanted as a gift. She didn’t know how to respond because she didn’t want to seem selfish or greedy. As a tweenager, she’s at an age where she should be able to ask for anything she wants, but social conditioning can make that difficult. At what point do we start feeling like it’s impolite to ask for what we need or want? When does accepting help or gifts turn into feeling like a burden?
But getting clear on your needs is an important first step. This starts with being honest with yourself and others. Learning to be truthful and avoiding the need to lie can help you feel better about yourself and improve your relationships. By shifting your perspective and making honesty a priority, you can eliminate the need for lies and make it easier to tell the truth.
How honest with yourself are you?
How truthful are you with yourself? Do you constantly take on too much and not ask for help with tasks like work, cooking, or shopping? You may have been doing this for so long that it feels normal, but it’s not fair to yourself. This may be one reason why burnout is more common in women than men. Rather than acknowledging their limits, women may feel pressured to keep going. Men, on the other hand, tend to be more honest with themselves. They know when to rest, take a day off, or have some alone time. It’s important to recognize that stress can affect women differently, especially during pre-season.
It’s time to have straightforward opinions and take action without second-guessing yourself. Don’t let preset expectations and programs hold you back from doing what’s best for yourself.
Why do you second guess yourself and everyone else around you before taking action that benefits you? Are you less honest with yourself because you are working with these preset programmes…
Many people dislike being called ‘high maintenance’ or ‘thinking too highly of oneself’. It’s great to have a caring nature towards others, but pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion to avoid being labelled as uncaring is not healthy. Stepping outside your comfort zone may seem daunting, but fear is just a creation of the mind and is not real. Focus on improving your internal thoughts, and the external will follow suit.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
Striving to appear incredibly busy and constantly announcing it to others can earn you respect and a sense of accomplishment, but it’s not worth sacrificing your authenticity to gain approval. People will naturally be drawn to you when you stop pretending to be someone you’re not and embrace your true self. Trying to live up to the expectations of others, whether it’s your parents, friends, mentors, boss, or society, can be challenging and harmful. It’s important to listen to your inner voice and follow your own path.
It’s important to prioritize your own happiness, desires and needs in life. While it’s natural to want to please others and meet their expectations, doing so excessively can lead to losing control of your own life. It’s crucial to be honest and open with yourself, and to take the time to listen to your own thoughts and feelings. Ultimately, your own well-being should always come first.
3. Avoid awkward situations.
Sometimes, when we feel ashamed of something we’ve done, we might be tempted to cover it up with a lie. For example, we might say, “I didn’t eat those biscuits, it must have been the kids.” However, it’s important to own up to our actions and take responsibility for them. So, if we did eat those biscuits and secretly stashed a chocolate Tunnock’s treat in the bottom of our handbag, it’s better to admit it and move forward with honesty and integrity.
Embarrassing moments are undoubtedly a part of life. However, trying to cover them up by pointing fingers at someone else can have a detrimental effect on one’s own self. It’s better to take responsibility for the embarrassment, acknowledge the feeling of discomfort, and then release it. It’s important to remember that we have the power to choose our emotions and decide what we hold onto.
4. Cover up bad behaviour
When we feel guilty, our first instinct is to blame others. We make up untruths or embellish the facts to absolve ourselves of any wrongdoing and avoid punishment. But the simpler and happier solution is to own up to our mistakes and apologize. It’s easy to say, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have parked/sworn/beeped,” and move on. Criticizing others for their differences only creates more negativity. We are all unique, but we all share the desire to love and be loved, be understood, and find happiness. No situation or person can make us unhappy or miserable unless we allow it. It’s not the circumstances that trigger our emotions, but how we choose to perceive them. So never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
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Acceptance is your easiest solution
It is important to acknowledge and accept your own feelings of fatigue, exhaustion, or desire. Such acknowledgement is not impudent, discourteous, or reckless. In fact, communicating openly and honestly from the heart can lead to greater opportunities and fewer emotional hardships.
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It can be tempting to hold onto familiar habits and routines, but it’s important to recognize the value of change. Making a change can propel you forward from your current point A to a new point B, and can lead to positive transformations in your life as well as in the lives of those closest to you. Pursue your passions and welcome change with open arms, rather than fighting against it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” ~ Joseph Campbell
What actions do you plan to take to effect change in your life? If I may be of assistance, I am at your service. Let us explore your goals and devise a plan to achieve them. Join me for a conversation and let’s work together towards your success.
Get Gorgeous is a journey together – yours and mine. Book some time for you x
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