After a bad day at work, or a snide comment from a loved one, you feel rubbish but what you do afterwards can be the secret sauce to your recovery. Do you hit the gin, the wine, moan, and generally gloss over the emotion? Or do you deal with the feeling, the resentment, the anger, and the frustration? Noticing and accessing how you feel are the first steps to releasing them. Simply expressing your frustration will start your journey to moving on. Gaining perspective on a situation will take time but you will speed the process up if you lightening your load with laughter.
After a particular painful book review on Amazon, I could feel myself going down the slippery slope of despondency. I felt heartbroken, worthless, and started to question my skills and qualities as an author and as a coach. A little overdramatic? I think so.
But I did have a sinking feeling that I had to deal with, I know from my coaching work, that if you don’t deal with what comes up, the emotion hangs about in your body and your thoughts. It becomes destructive and it is a poison that you carry around into future conversations and into your day. When the answer and the solution are very simple. Have a good laugh!
In that moment of despair and upset, what you want to do is reach for booze and/or chocolate. It easy to go back to the ways of behaving that were ‘modelled’ by our parents. The ‘grown-up’ solution of finding release comes from an automatic, quick response that we have learned to be acceptable from others. The question is how well is that serving you now?
As the boss of you, what can you do differently and get a better more long-lasting outcome to a painful moment or time in your life?
Dealing with emotions is murky experience at first, perhaps painful at first. But listening and paying attention and doing something proactive will stop the event recurring – again and again.
Your strategy for moving forward and letting go of distressing situations is two-fold:
Ask for help
Decide who is the very best person you can talk to you, who will support you to change. It is interesting you may think automatically to a best friend or partner, but they don’t always give you the answer you need, they may simply give the answer you want to hear.
Once you have found your perfect soul mate, pick a comfortable time and place to have your conversation, preferably not after a glass of wine, a cup of tea would work better.
Decide before you do this what is the outcome you want – peace and space to be heard or a solution?
Bearing in mind these three simple tips will help you to move on rather than dwelling on the situation. Who would you ask, who would give trust with your innermost throughs to give you an honest answer that will help you to move on?
Don’t miss: Asking for help
The second part of moving on is laughter…
Laugh it off
Laughter not only strengthens your immune system, but also boosts your mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the physical and mental damaging effects of stress.
Having some fun brings your mind and body back into balance. It lightens your burdens, inspires hope, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. It also helps you release anger and forgive sooner.
- Laughter stops distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re having a laugh.
- Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.
- Laughter shifts your perspective, allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light. A humorous perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you avoid feeling the overwhelmed and diffuse conflict.
- Laughter draws you closer to others, which can have a profound effect on all aspects of your mental and emotional health.
What is your quickest route to a smile? Mine is excessive swearing! Rude I know but if my hubby swears in a posh voice it is hilarious. What is your secret laughter juice?
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Laughing off a painful experience isn’t easy at first. Changing the way that you see yourself and the world around takes time. Real change that lasts takes time, one step at a time. Creating a long-lasting ‘relationship with yourself’ that is loving will create confidence to do more and creates a long term transformation change.
I’d love to chat about your transformation change, using nutrition, mindful exercise and personal coaching I would love to offer you space and time to find out what you want to see happen in your life let’s chat, book a time that suits and lets work together how to bring your teenager onside and become the best version of you, it is your time
Get Gorgeous is a journey together – yours and mine.
PS. Gorgeous! is your insight into great health and vitality Gorgeous! how to look and feel fantastic every day. Click here to download your FREE chapter of Gorgeous!