Fixed Mindset – I always end up back at square one
When you are stepping on the scales every day, every week, and the results are good, you are on a winner. You have succeeded.
But when you are on holiday, the sun is out, you have a friend’s birthday or perhaps it is your neighbour’s party – something gets in the way of your success – in terms of the scales you suddenly become a loser again. The scales appear and you are judging yourself as a loser. Then the dreading feeling rises up again, the mindset that you can’t change.
A challenge, a setback, a struggle, a criticism from a loved one (or even someone you really really hate) can send you back into the spiral. You start to consider “well why bother?” and reach for the comfort food.
You have learnt to nurture and love yourself through food. Everybody does it, I have told you more than once that I self-medicate with chocolate. When you feel bad it is absolutely okay to look after yourself and if that is with food, it is okay, accept where you are. Don’t fight your inner critic and don’t judge yourself with those nasty scales.
Instead, know why you are doing it and make plans to affect the change and step off the scales and become the real you. The real absolutely gorgeous you.
Growth Mindset – be the real you
As a child, you created an internal dialogue – an inner critic. She will tell you off you are not behaving the way you ‘should’, she is doing her job of caring for you. She may not be very good it, but when you created her she didn’t have very much experience. So go gently on her.
You look for a mode of behaviour that will give you acceptance, gain love and acceptance by those around you.
Your inner critic might be harsh she may very well shout at your or beat mentally beat you up. She will have a lot to say to you when you ‘fail’ on the dreaded scales.
Your ‘inner critic’ was created to serve a purpose of keeping you safe. In the private gorgeous group, we name our ‘inner critic’ she can be called Sheila, Hilary etc. By naming her it helps you to identify who is talking, where the mind chatter comes from and decide if you want to listen.
By recognising your inner critic you have the choice whether to listen to ‘Sheila’ or ask her to sit this one out on the sun bed and tell her gently that you are okay you can handle ‘this challenge’ now.
A growth mindset is when you open up to growth and learning, learn that the scales don’t tell you the whole truth. If you are making healthy food choices the scales won’t show you those immediately. If you are exercising more the scales won’t show you that. If your internal systems are changing and making adaptations the scales won’t inform ‘Sheila’ of that either.
Don’t miss: Your low fat diet is not making you healthier
Creating a plan is part of learning and the ‘growth mindset’. Vowing to never eat a ‘hot cross bun’ won’t work, it is useless. What does work is a vivid, concrete plan – a ‘growth-orientated plan’
Instead of hiding your insecurities discuss them in our private group. Find out how others overcame their initial difficulties and what mental and physical techniques did they use. As you become more integrated into the gorgeous team, you will realise that you are part of a group that wants you to grow, you are not judged or belittled.
Using simple healthy eating habits and incorporating a simple exercise routine you will begin to appreciate that little by little you try putting more effort into things and seeing if you get more of the rewards you wanted. You do. Although you can slowly accept the idea that effort might be necessary you still can’t accept that it is no guarantee.
Stickability, you stick with the process, the habits become ingrained and it isn’t long before you begin to enjoy putting in effort and learning. This becomes a source of personal satisfaction and personal growth.
You are on the road to success …… forever
“Now is the time. I’ve spent my whole life thinking about my weight, I’ve done diets to the hilt since the age of 13 and I’m done! GG will stop me being on this yo-yo. It will give me a clear, straightforward and simple guide to being the best me I can be.”
These were a client comment when reviewing her ‘reasons for change’ in the Get Gorgeous Fundamental course. But these are the words that she used that really interested me:
“I will have a way that I won’t be embarrassed or ashamed to follow.”
Understand your REASONS WHY: why you want to change
This is the first step, know that these reasons draw a line in the sand. Your reasons become a reference for you to understand why you are on your personal journey to health and vitality. These reasons help you to stay focused when things get tough and you lose focus. When you step on the scales and they don’t go in the direct you want to them to (there are reasons for that but that is another blog)
Checking in with your support coach, completing habit adherence sheets, completing measurements are all part of the gorgeous process which enables you to make positive steps towards a healthier happier you. By making a plan and incorporating small daily changes helps shift your thinking along the mindset continuum from:
a ‘fixed mindset’ of I can’t do this, I can’t change, I can’t run etc etc etc
to a ‘growth mindset’ where everything is possible I can change the way I eat, think about fitting exercise into your daily routine, take that cycling challenge.
Don’t miss: Forget willpower rely on healthy habits
These activities become more real when you consider why you want to change and embrace the idea that you can change. You are in control of your own destiny, not work or kids or family YOU – gorgeous you.
- Have a plan
- Use simple habits to incorporate your plan
- Keep learning about your gorgeous body
- Use the support from me and other gorgeous girls
The big question is how?
Trust the gorgeous process.
Emotional triggers can be diminished you have long-term healthy eating habits, exercise habits embedded. Your long term success depends on knowing who you are and why you react to certain challenges. Find out more about you, what makes you tick and understand your own personal growth.
If you like the idea of working with me you can find out more without having to commit here:
FIND OUT MORE!
The wonderful thing is that getting healthy is easy. OH YES, IT IS – when you apply small habitual steps and with encouragement from me and the other gorgeous girls in our community you stick to your gorgeous habits because they are habits and not a strict set of instructions, rules or something nutty you wouldn’t do naturally.
My mental health has always been focused on my exercise and what I eat so that I can exercise and feel good and have bags of energy to drive everyone else crazy 🙂
Speak soon much love