The REAL reason you will never have long term success on a diet

Diet’s are a trick and this blog will outline why you have been “TRICKED” into dieting.  Women are busy and sometimes you just need to be told what to do and in the first instance that is why diets are appealing and they work for a while.  Over time your body and your brain get savvy, you begin to unpick the diet mantra.  CONTROL is the name of the DIET GAME and when you lose control you fail and then the cycle of self-loathing begins and ultimately you lose self-esteem. Diets hurt you on a subconscious and very powerful level.  This blog will explain why you are ultimately out of control when you are on a diet and how you can change the diet crash loop.

Diets work for the simple reason that you are ‘time poor’. Time-poor is the woman’s new mantra and diets are appealing simply because you are time poor.  You don’t have to think about what you are doing, the prescription and the products are laid out in front of you.  There is no energy involved with the big promise of ‘this works if you buy this’.  You don’t have to think about it, you believe the promise without expending any thought energy, you don’t have to think about what you are doing or even eating, someone tells you.

  • There is little mental energy involved on your part, and that is the attractive part, that is appealing.
  • In a world that is so busy, so much to do, if something or someone hands it to you on a diet prescription on a plate then that will win.
  • A diet is a “done for you solution.”

Diets mess with your brain!

Diets are a formula, they lay down the rules and it is easy for a busy woman to pick up the thread and run with a formula. You don’t have to think and thinking is a precious resource for you when you are pulled taut in every direction.  Having rules to follow with a promised outcome is very, very appealing.

So how many diets have you been on?

And the question is why? Why do you keep going back?

Two beautiful ladies I know socially, told me this week (even though they KNOW what I do) that they are going to back on a diet one was going back to the Cabbage diet and another is going back to adding aspartame onto her food so it is palatable so she can diet AGAIN.

Lifelong dieters! isn’t the clue in the phrase ‘lifelong’   I urge you from the bottom of my bottom (and that is deep) stop doing it to yourself.  Let’s unpick it, let’s explore why women fall into the diet cycle, what is the appeal…


Why do you diet?

Gretchen Rubin in her fascinating book ‘The Four Tendencies” describes people into four groups and she explains that women generally fall into the Obligers group.  Because we love to follow rules.

For example….if the school PTA or your boss asks you to bake a cake for tomorrows meeting you WILL do it.  You may moan, groan and say how unfair or how unrealistic it is, but it will weigh you down and eventually, you will get up at 5am or stay up to 11pm and get it done. You can’t help yourself you are good girl, and I love you for that.

Or here is another scenario, you are mega busy, super uber busy and you want to fit in your Pilates class and everything else and then Johnny says he needs a new pair of trousers bought or sown up. What would you do?  Yes you would give up your own personal agenda (going to Pilates class) and follow Johnny’s. 

You are an obliger, you uphold the rules.  You are kind, compassionate and above all a people pleaser. Obligers usually need an external form of accountability to get things done and that is why in the first instance DIETS WORK FOR YOU.  You are upholding somebody else’s rules and regulations.

Can you see where the weakness lies?

Johnny or Mrs “I know everything about diets and how you can get slim” at the front of the Weight Watchers class is eventually going to annoy you off and your inner teenage is eventually going to stamp her foot and say “I ain’t going to take it anymore!” I took a whole ‘season’ at a slimming camp and I lost a staggering amount of weight. I starved myself.  I followed the rules. But the crazy thing is that I have never been that skinny again and weighed that less again. EVER! NOW I follow my own rules and that includes a large bottom and having a lot more fun and enjoying life.


Just to finish Gretchen point on personality traits:

(first name terms because in my mind she is my pal)


– follow their own rules and others (they are knackered most of the time because there are a lot of rules)


– questions the rules (rare and the most thoughtful and less stressed person there is – unless of course, they ask too many questions and never get started with anything)


– that’s you and me – do what we are told – people pleasers 🙂 jolly good sort x


– rare and speak for themselves.  Don’t EVER follow the rules.  They find a role in the military or government so that they can ‘rebel’ against it – bizarre but true. That is definitely gorgeous girl Rachel. Watch her story here

Stormtrooper: A rebel working from the inside or a people-pleasing upholder? What do you think?



Shine the light of awareness and you gently make the shift

So you know why you start a diet, the rules are clear, somebody is telling you what to do.

You are also aware of the pitfalls, you will wake up, you will get frustrated about being told what to do and having to be so strict and hard on yourself that eventually even if she is buried very deep your inner teenager is going to scream a VERY LOUD PROFANITY and eat not one but several cheesecakes and washing it down with a large glass of vino (or bottle). And my word who would blame you.

NEW Gorgeous You

It is your time to change the record, set a new course and begin a new gorgeous journey with your body and your mind.  Your inner work will change your path to a healthier you.

instead of blindly following the rules, adapt your lifestyle and add in a new habit, take your time. Don’t upset the inner teenager, work with her and explain why you are doing this, you are a team – you and your inner teenager. Educate her about why your new habit is going to make her feel better and how she can work with her to do list with ease. Lifestyle habits, you will explain, are easy to adapt to, with somebody to guide (not tell) and hold your hand you can add a new habit and slide out a bad one.

Don’t miss How to avoid making these painful mistakes when losing weight


Food education changed my mindset and relationship with food – for good. For example, I now understand sugar and its demon effect on my weight & levels of tiredness for me. I now find that I am no longer addicted to chocolate when I could easily munch my way through two or three bars a day.

But not anymore – I simply don’t want it. And this isn’t a trick. Instead, I’ve learned how to eat for my body so that I feel full, satiated, and full of energy.

It’s all about getting you sorted first and empowering you to feel better about yourself and in yourself. Then you can go back to your female ‘caring’ role and be a master worker, a jujitsu ’carer’ plus your other daytime workload.

You will feel better and then, like the aircraft crash scenario (note to self: probably not appropriate Adele, a little bit scary) put on your own oxygen mask before the kids! I’m confident that once you commit to the Get Gorgeous principles and blueprint, you will change your relationship with food and achieve your goal.

Don’t miss Dreaded cycle of boom and bust diet – do something different


Let’s chat and you and I can talk through your health blocks, understand what is pulling you away from your health goals. By the end of the call, you’ll know exactly what you need to do get your health goals in place. Once you are clear on that, we can discuss ways that I can help you to get your plan your health strategy in easy steps. We may decide to work together to help you reach your weight loss goals successfully – and if so great – if not then that’s okay too. You’ll still have a clear plan to move your life forward.

Here is a quick video I put together for those who are joining me to chat, it explains exactly what you and I will talk about

let’s chat

I am looking forward to speaking with you.

Get Gorgeous is a journey together – yours and mine.

PS. Don’t forget the gorgeous book – your insight into great health and vitality Gorgeous! how to look and feel fantastic every day.  Click here to find out about your Gorgeous book


“Gorgeous! The psychology of this book has opened my eyes into realising that things have to change and can change. For the better. The other topics on eating and the misconceptions of what to eat have blown my mind and understanding the importance of fitness from both a physical and mental perspective. I’m so pleased I trusted my gut and bought this book


Find out what other clients have to say…

Join my next Pilates retreat day 

Join us for some Spanish warmth, Pilates exercises,  time to relax, unwind and consider your next steps for you.  A healthy and relaxing week combining powerful tools to help you relax, release stress. How often do you have the chance to step back from your day and … breathe?

Next Wellness retreat to Greece, with daily Pilates in the Greek sun, click here

Natasha Wheeler-James Mum of 3 under 6 Pilates and meditation workshop 25th September 2018

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