Your inner critic, isn’t it time you changed the record?

Internal chatter

You have it, we all have it… internal mind chatter. It is exhausting.

An old boyfriend of mine used to say talking to me was like playing a vinyl record, you never knew when the needle was going to come off and what subject was going to be played next.

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Change your record, listen to your inner mentor

You are probably so used to hearing and living with your inner critic that you don’t even notice her anymore. Monkey brain, inner chatter, they all add up to the same thing ‘inner doubt’, lack of confidence.

Change your record and listen instead to your inner mentor

Imagine what your life would feel like if your self-doubt was erased?   Think of all the joy and fulfilment you would have.

All women have inner critics.  Your internal voice generally evolves around your self-belief in your abilities, not being good enough, not clever enough. That voice of self-doubt berates you for being too loud, too genuine, speaking up or being heard.

And your self-critic about food is HUGE. You have to have nerves of steel to put up with this barrage:

“Oh you fat cow you shouldn’t have eaten that – you are a failure”

“You will never get this right, you will never be skinny”

“Why didn’t I get out of bed this morning at 6am and start the couch to 5k”

‘What is wrong with me”

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THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.  You have just been listening to the same vinyl for too long. Change your record.

Your deepest, darkest thoughts are the voice that you never air.  Those thoughts circulate through your head over and over again, without any release.

If you don’t air these thoughts, if you don’t discuss them then you won’t get your thoughts into perspective.

When your thoughts are tightly wound up in your inner dialogue you can’t call them out and face them.  Facing your fear extinguishes your fear.

On my many visits to the psychoanalysis coach, I remember asking the counsellor to help me to calm my mind, quieten my thoughts… oh and stop biting my nails.  They were the pre-exquisites for me to spend a fortune.

Over the years I have successfully worked and achieved all 3 targets:

  1. Calm mind
  2. Quieter thoughts
  3. Longer nails

The first two I accomplished with research, reading, understanding and knowing myself and using practical tools.  A meditation app, exercise, diarising my feelings, 3 daily positive affirmations. I am very interested in research and understanding but I am also fiercely practical.  I have to have tools to help me, like habits, scheduling or phone apps.

 

Don’t miss:  Tips on carving out some time for you 🙂

 

The last accomplishment I achieved through Shellac, best product EVER!

You don’t have to listen to the harsh inner critic, you can choose to ignore her and listen to your inner mentor instead.

Get your Inner Mentor on side

Imagine yourself beyond your wildest dreams, the best makeover EVER. The dress you have always wanted to wear, the hairstyle, the event you are going to attend where everybody says “wow you look AMAZING”. Yeah, go on I dare you….

Dream it…

Dream big and listen to that little quiet voice in your head that gets excited to hear you talk like that. It is probably a little voice because your inner critic has been shouting her down for so long.  She starts quiet but she will get louder the more you listen and the more you tune into her emotion. It is your emotions that change your world.  Tuning in to what you feel, recognising and allowing that emotion to grow bigger –  if it is where you want to go and calming and settling that emotion if it is fearful and takes you to a place you don’t want to go.

Listen to your emotions

One of the Gorgeous Girls explained to me that she kept being told that ‘she was too emotional’. Let’s be honest most people don’t get you!  Early on in my marriage after hours of dissecting the latest catastrophe in my life over…… a playground argument … or a dissatisfied customer…a traffic incident….or something equally major…..my husband said to me go talk to your girlfriends, find a friend!

Hurtful…..

yes

But I got it.

Your emotions are your inner compass, you live by your instinct, the problem is you have subdued your emotions to ‘fit in’.  Your inner critic reigns because she has never been outed.  Out her right now!  Give your inner critic a name – Deirdre is a good one – a name created by a client on one of our personal coaching sessions.

Know when Diedre is waffling on and give her a hug because she is a sad character.  Your inner mentor, on the other hand, is the person that you will be in 1 or 3 years time, is very powerful. She rocks. Let’s call her Samantha. Listen to Queen Samantha, your inner mentor. She will correct your course, set you straight. If you can’t hear Samantha find a friend who will help you get in touch with her. A friend or a coach…. like me 😉

Follow a path working with me that will give you straightforward advice, a simple guide and support.

A programme that you won’t be embarrassed or ashamed to follow. An inclusive caring group of girls and me who help you find your inner mentor.

 

 

Trust the process.

Emotional triggers can be diminished your long term success depends on knowing who you are and why you react to certain challenges.  Find out more about what makes you tick and understand your own personal growth.

Solution is to put it all together

Neuroscience and psychology together with nutrition and exercise. Improve your relationship with your body.  Join me for a 6-week gentle reset next round starts on Wednesday 26th February 2020, this is an online programme, you can work with me from the comfort of your own home

Join up here 6 weeks gently reset your body, your focus and your mind   

Press reset on the healthy habits page of my website www.get-gorgeous.com/healthy-tools

 

 

Get Gorgeous is a journey together – yours and mine.

PS. Don’t forget the gorgeous book – your insight into great health and vitality Gorgeous! how to look and feel fantastic every day.  Click here to find out about your Gorgeous book

Find out what other gorgeous clients have to say…

Join my next Pilates retreat day 

Join us for some Spanish warmth, Pilates exercises and time to relax, unwind and consider your next steps for you.  A healthy and relaxing week combining powerful tools to help you relax, release stress. How often do you have the chance to step back from your day and … breathe?

Next Wellness retreat to Greece, with daily Pilates in the Greek sun click here

 

 

Sarah McIlveen Business Owner - Consumer Brand Marketer Gorgeous Pilates Retreat 11th February 2019

 

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One response to “Your inner critic, isn’t it time you changed the record?”

  1. […] more powerfully out loud will have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem and happiness. Remember Diedre from previous blogs – your inner critic? For every negative message you give yourself it takes 11 positive messages to negate the one bad […]

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