Why weight gain isn’t your real problem

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I appreciate that you feel fed up feeling heavy or hugely annoyed that your belly is hanging out over your jeans.  And of course, you feel that your weight is your biggest problem, but is it.  May I suggest that the belly fat is not your issue there are other underlining issues that needs to be addressed and the belly fat will disappear of its own accord.

“WOAH hold onto your hats – that is way to simple”

I appreciate that statement is met with disbelief and perhaps even annoyance when you have worked so hard to lose weight and staying perfect with what you eat.  Okay so maybe you know you should be doing more exercise and dieting isn’t exactly good for your health especially when you have to keep going back to it.  But what else is there?

Let me draw your attention to your thought patterns concerning your weight:

  • Weight gain is what you perceive to be your BIGGEST problem if only you could lose 3lbs then that job would come and you’d be happy.
  • Are you constantly worried about what you are going to eat next? 
  • What can you eat for lunch that is healthy and keep you away from the biscuits? 
  • How can you avoid the office cakes without looking like ‘you are trying to lose weight’ AGAIN?
  • How do you monitor your food so nobody notices that you are thinking about food ALL DAY LONG?
  • Obsessing about food and which food will help you to lose weight!
  • Do you feel those thoughts going around in your head all day?

If you work from home, whether that is looking after kids or running your own business your kitchen is chained to your left arm. You are constantly drawn back to it.

I get it, you are working hard, you deserve a reward but HOW else do you treat yourself in a way that is quick and offers you instant gratification?  How on earth do you reward and treat yourself in a way that is healthy and going to make you feel good?  What ELSE can you do to distract that feeling of stress or overwhelm other than a few crisps or HobNobs?

Nobody really eats lettuce leaves and nibbles on nuts for a snack DO THEY?  Is this your “work at home” fridge scenario? Does it pans out something like this:

  • You are working hard, immersed in what you are doing – kids activities or writing an email or report
  • You go to the kitchen for a healthy snack and a break
  • Open the fridge or cupboard
  • Just stand there.
  • Have an internal argument.
  • Close the fridge or cupboard and wander aimlessly around, put some dishes away
  • FED UP, too many decisions
  • Grab the crisps, chocolate or coffee – sod it I have worked hard
  • Go back to work/kids
  • You’ve eaten the wrong food, your sugar peaks and drops and you are exhausted
  • Feel tired, moody and hungry again
  • REPEAT kitchen drama!

It’s this repetitive negative cycle that is damaging your health

Your weight gain is a result of your negative self-obsession.  Your worry about getting your food right is what is making you fat.  CORTISOL is the stress hormone that stays in your body and makes your belly fat!

The cycle, this repetitive ongoing daily cycle is draining. The monkey chatter, the arguments in your head, the second-guessing what everybody is thinking is where your real pain lies.  Losing weight even if it is just a few pounds or staying healthy is constantly on your radar and the thought itself is tiring, especially because it is set on a self -sabotaging loop.

You have increased your stress levels simply by acting out this drama every time you go into your own kitchen.  The drama running through your head is robbing you of your life, your energy.

Your thoughts are exhausting.

You then compound the exhausting effect of these thoughts with poor eating habits. AND nasty backchat to yourself. Persistently elevated levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, are very detrimental to your health as well as to your body composition.

High stress increases the production of the hormone cortisol which increases your appetite and cravings, it causes a loss of muscle mass, libido and bone density, and also contributes to depression and memory loss.

In other words, chronic stress makes you flabby and much older than you truly are! Studies show that stress causes abdominal fat – even in people who are otherwise thin. Researchers at Yale University found that slim women who had high cortisol also had more abdominal fat. More results published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine in 2000 established a link between cortisol and increased storage of abdominal fat.

Please stop, be kind to yourself.  Nurture yourself by introducing positive food habits and change the way you think and talk to yourself.

Imagine how much more energy you will have when you stop wasting your effort on beating yourself up?  Isn’t it time you moved on? Stop the blame culture and step into who you were meant to be without this internal chatter. LEt it go it is doing you more harm than the chocolate biscuit.

Break the negative cycle, change the way you ‘chat to yourself’

Yes, you have worked hard, too hard, deal with the working hard issue not the battle at the cupboard door.

Once you get to the cupboard or fridge door IT IS TOO LATE!  You are never going to resist.

Your weight gain is not your main problem, it is not your biggest worry.  Your weight gain is a symptom of a deeper issue. Do you feel deep within yourself that statement is true?  If you took a moment and stepped back from your physical actions and considered what was going on in your belly, your emotions and in your heart?

Or do you dismiss that comment? Either reaction is interesting. Are you hanging onto the thread:


“If I lose 6lbs or 3 stone everything will change.”


Will it?

Weight gain is not the cause of your discomfort or displeasure with your body, it is the result of deep insecurity and deep feelings of resentment that have not been dealt with from your past.  I have worked through lots of psychotherapy in the past dealing with various upsets in my life – parents divorced when I was young, loss of 3 babies, being the oldest child. I can tell you being the oldest child definitely needed the most psychotherapy 😉

I always felt frustrated that I never understood the answer. Why am I still upset?  What is the problem with me?

And then the penny dropped


You may never know why you feel intensely uncomfortable when somebody says something innocent to you.  You may never understand the exact cause of that feeling in your belly or your throat. As one gorgeous girl explained to me she was once told that it would take 20 years and thousands of pounds to get to the bottom of the real issue.


Certainly not.  There are much more productive and satisfying ways of dealing with your demons.


Don’t miss Are you worried about what your future holds?


Gorgeous Girls on my Premier programme work with me and get their goals set and mindset strong and focused in under 90 days with my proven methods and nutritional habits. Calm thoughts and better nutrition and exercise mean that stress levels are reduced and their day becomes clearer.

Book a time with me click here and book your session now.

You and I can talk through your health blocks, understand what is pulling you away from your health goals. By the end of the call, you’ll know exactly what you need to do get your health goals in place. Once you are clear on that, we can discuss ways that I can help you to get your plan your health strategy in easy steps.

We may decide to work together to help you reach your weight loss goals successfully – and if so great – if not then that’s okay too. You’ll still have a clear plan to move your life forward.

So click here and book your session now.

I am looking forward to speaking with you.

Your Gorgeous Health Coach

•Gorgeous Inner work • Nutritionist •The UK’S #1

PS. Don’t forget the gorgeous book – your insight into great health and vitality Gorgeous! how to look and feel fantastic every day.  Click here to find out about your Gorgeous book

“Gorgeous! The psychology of this book has opened my eyes into realising that things have to change and can change. For the better. The other topics on eating and the misconceptions of what to eat have blown my mind and understanding the importance of fitness from both a physical and mental perspective. I’m so pleased I trusted my gut and bought this book


Find out what other clients have to say…

I retired from the NHS in March 2018 after almost 40 years service, first as a nurse but for 35 years as a medical secretary, nursing had to go due to a back injury.   I felt very fat and uncomfortable! By following the Adele links I thought I would take the opportunity to book a call to have a chat with Adele.  Little did I know how this would change my life.  Sounds dramatic, but it absolutely has.

I don’t think I had thought about how committed I would need or want to be, I just thought Adele would help me to lose weight and get fitter, but at the end of that first call when I cried, sobbed and was an absolute mess, I realised I was on a path to a better way of life which I knew Adele would help me get through.

I was in the process of selling the family home which was taking a horrible amount of time and which was traumatic as the decision to move had been a hard one in the first place.  It was where we had lived for 20 years and where my darling husband Stuart had died in my arms after a short cruel illness but one he had fought so hard against.  On that first call, Adele helped me realise I was still grieving even if I believed I was fine although I knew the mask was still evident a lot of the time, safety net rules.

I signed up to the Get Gorgeous programme and got going with wholehearted commitment.  Within a short space of time, I was completely hooked on what the process was about and the possible end results.  Even though I was committed it was the support and encouragement of Adele that kept me going.  I was doing the workouts set out in the modules I was following.  I found doing the workouts on a daily basis easy to follow and enjoyable.  I was doing these on the suggested three times a week but as I progressed through the modules I was able to mix and match them through the week and so I was doing something every day, as well as walking and golfing.  Great strides.  I was also losing weight and feeling so much better for it.

The weight loss was becoming noticeable and I was receiving compliments from family and friends, which was a great morale booster for me.  I was starting to believe in me! Alongside me all the way was Adele whose encouragement, positivity and commitment to me (she made me feel as if I was the only person she was doing this for and so made me feel very special) was endless and worth so very much and to whom I will be forever grateful.  With the zoom meeting calls, Adele was able to see the changes in me and obviously my weekly submitted adherence sheets.  It was obvious it was working for me and I felt so incredibly positive and excited by what I was achieving.

Before I started the programme I was very sad, even though I believe I covered it well, I missed Stuart so very much and although I was busy in my life he was missing.   Since becoming a part of this journey I believe I am a bit more outgoing, although probably still feel more comfortable with those I know well and happy to be a part of the background.  I don’t think that is a negative thing but will change as I continue to grow in confidence.   I cannot tell you how much seeing and talking to Adele has done for me in self-belief and confidence.

Adele is one of the most positive, encouraging, committed people I have met.  She is so obviously knowledgeable about her subject and is keen to share this and help anyone achieve whatever they want,  can’t wait for the book.

She is so exuberant and delightful that I just want to do my best for her and myself.   For me the benefits are endless and although I have completed the modules the journey continues and becomes a positive way of life.  I feel that I am more forward-looking than I was before and that is a massive plus and I feel very proud of myself.

Along the journey of Get Gorgeous I have lost a stone and a half in weight and lost lots of inches and have become much fitter and so I think I have achieved what I set out to achieve.  Overall I feel so much lighter in mood and positive in my outlook which is a massive achievement and which is ongoing.    Adele Stickland is a most extraordinary woman who I adore and feel I can call a friend.  Thank You Adele.

Gill Fenwick Retired nurse Get Gorgeous 28th October 2018

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3 responses to “Why weight gain isn’t your real problem”

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